New research, reported by foxnews.com, has found that

“Kids who get bullied and snubbed by peers may be more likely to have problems in other parts of their lives, past studies have shown. And now researchers have found at least three factors in a child’s behavior that can lead to social rejection.

The factors involve a child’s inability to pick up on and respond to nonverbal cues from their pals.

In the United States, 10 to 13 percent of school-age kids experience some form of rejection by their peers. In addition to causing mental health problems, bullying and social isolation can increase the likelihood a child will get poor grades, drop out of school, or develop substance abuse problems, the researchers say.

“It really is an under-addressed public health issue,” said lead researcher Clark McKown of the Rush Neurobehavioral Center in Chicago.

And the social skills children gain on the playground or elsewhere could show up later in life, according to Richard Lavoie, an expert in child social behavior who was not involved with the study. Unstructured playtime — that is, when children interact without the guidance of an authority figure — is when children experiment with the relationship styles they will have as adults, he said.

Underlying all of this: “The number one need of any human is to be liked by other humans,” Lavoie told LiveScience. “But our kids are like strangers in their own land.” They don’t understand the basic rules of operating in society and their mistakes are usually unintentional, he said…

“…Kids who had social problems also had problems in at least one of three different areas of nonverbal communication: reading nonverbal cues; understanding their social meaning; and coming up with options for resolving a social conflict…

“…The studies are detailed in the current issue of the Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology. They were funded by the Dean and Rosemarie Buntrock Foundation and the William T. Grant Foundation.”

Read the whole article here

Why Do Children get Bullied is a post from: NonVerbal-Communication

Technorati Tags: nonverbal communication, nonverbal cues

The new edition of Nonverbal Communication, Fourth Edition, features:
* A greatly enhanced applications orientation: The text now integrates applications throughout each chapter. “Observational Studies” provide opportunities for students to either work with or experiment with each theory discussed, and “Questions to Ponder” at the end of each chapter give students further experience applying what they have learned. Expanded individual applications of contemporary and historical research findings are also included. This approach eases instruction as students learn to gauge how much they really know about nonverbal communication–and how to apply it to real-world situations.
* A More Conversational Writing Style: This edition is written as if the authors were carrying on a conversation with their readers. There are more examples and fewer studies cited than in earlier editions.
* Controversial Issues of the Day including tattooing, body piercing, plastic surgery, and botox are covered.
* New Coverage on Gender and Intercultural Issues is integrated throughout the text.
* Glossary of Terms: The new edition features this helpful reference for students.
* Expanded Coverage of Contextual Applications including work, family, and social contexts.
* More Extensive Media Applications: There is new material on advertising, public relations, broadcasting, journalism, and impression management.
Nonverbal Communication: Studies and Applications offers complete coverage of the field’s basic subcodes: Haptics (touch); Proxemics (space); Physical appearance; Kinesics (human body movement); Oculesics (face and eye); Vocalics (paralanguage); Olfactics (scent and smell); and Chronemics (time usage).
An ever-popular feature is the chapter on research methodology. Students will better understand what they are learning if they become aware of the processes that scholars follow in developing theories. The authors conclude with a chapter on the future of nonverbal communication–what we know about the field, its practical implications, and where the discipline appears to be heading.

Product Specification :

ISBN :0195329880
Format aperback: 503 pages
Publisher :Oxford Univ Pr
Date Published :02/19/2007
List price :64.95

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Nonverbal Communication is a post from: NonVerbal-Communication

When we communicate with someone we will be doing so on a number of levels, not just the words that we use – tone of voice and body language are also important factors in nonverbal communication.

Eye contact – is one of the most powerful means of communication after words. It can be direct or indirect, long-lasting or short and more usually intermittent when talking to someone in normal conversation. Staring or holding eye contact for too long can make people feel uncomfortable and is unsettling. Appropriate eye contact is important for effective communication. People who like or feel comfortable with each other engage in eye contact more frequently. People who avoid eye contact are likely to be feeling uncomfortable, guilty or embarrassed.

Face – next on the list after the eyes. This is one of the first features we notice. By looking at someone’s face we can read their emotion. Small gestures like the eyebrow flash happen almost subconsciously when we greet people we are pleased to see or who we know. A smile can also work wonders when greeting someone for the first time. It can also be used to calm and help people to feel at ease. A genuine smile lights up the whole face including the eyes, a forced or nervous smile tends to stay around the mouth. Where someone looks when you talk to them can tell you which side of the brain they’re accessing and if they’re a visual, auditory or kinetic person.

Posture – has a lot to say about how a person feels about themselves and the person they’re with. Are they leaning in towards each other or away from each other? Mirroring someone’s posture is a good way to create rapport and will happen naturally in some situations. Try it out but don’t make it too obvious or it can be off-putting. What is the posture of someone who feels confident? How does someone sit/stand when they feel threatened or fearful? If you have to give a presentation and feel nervous – adopt a posture of confidence and think yourself into a positive mode. See what a difference it makes.

Hand gestures – particularly at the moment, we are exposed to the carefully managed gestures of politicians when giving their pre-election speeches. The use of hand gestures can be another interesting aspect of body language that show attitudes and emotions. An open palm signifies sincerity, openness. Steepling of the fingers is seen as authoritative, or used during negotiation when considering a proposal. Tapping or drumming the fingers shows impatience. Touching the face indicates thinking, the hair insecurity and the ears indecision.

Personal space – everyone has their own sense of personal space that we carry around with us. We should be aware of this personal space so that we don’t invade someone’s personal space uninvited. Invading someone’s personal space can seem threatening and the person will move away to a more comfortable distance. In crowded situations personal space is greatly reduced and other factors will come into account such as avoidance of eye contact and the use of defensive postures.

Body contact – the handshake is the most recognised form of body contact and used in greetings and farewells. A firm handshake is preferred in both men and women. A weak handshake shows either ineffectiveness, insincerity or reluctance. Bone crusher handshakes on the other hand are seen as aggressive or overly dominant. People brought up where body contact is a normal part of family life tend to be more positive and open than those with less. Always be aware and observe what is acceptable with an individual or for different cultures.

When interpreting body language you need to take into account all parts of the body. Changes in a person’s ‘normal’ body language indicate a change in emotion or attitude. Don’t assume that because someone has their arms crossed they are being defensive, perhaps they really are just cold! Look at all the different signals before interpreting the final message – at least three to four and know what’s normal for that person.

Fun Exercise: Watch people’s body language when you’re next in a position to observe. How close are they? How much eye contact is there? Can you tell if they know/like each other? Are they strangers or friends? See how much of the conversation you can guess from observing people’s body language.

NonVerbal Communication – Are They Really Saying That? is a post from: NonVerbal-Communication

Perhaps you have already spoken before an audience, have given a credible speech, have driven the audience to a reasonable point and have been applauded a fair number of times.

Now you wish to improve that foundation you have in speaking and influence. Here are three points that can aid you to become a more persuasive speaker.

One, body language. Majority of human communication is done nonverbally, and people commonly respond and understand it very well, having said that we primarily did not have formal education on nonverbal language. In order to effectively connect with your audience, mean what youâ??re saying through nonverbal cues.

These include eye contact, hand gestures, pacing and the like to stress your words and statements. For instance, if youâ??re trying to imply a very important point, you may point a finger up. If youâ??re telling a story, pace a short distance citing youâ??re bringing them to a certain point. You would be surprised what difference as an audience it would make if the speaker simply went through his speech purely verbal.

Two, study. Influence is your main concern when speaking before an audience so you have to know what youâ??re talking about. You have to persuade them into considering the point that youâ??re trying to make by citing facts, accepted truths and sources to show that your speech is actually based on something relevant.

Realize that there is no debate or an exchange between you and them so you have to be very mindful of every single aspect of your speech or they may find you stereotypical; or worse, they may see you contradicting your own statements. Do some research and be open about new ideas and opinions before speaking; this will further guide you how to be a more persuasive speaker.

Three, connection. Treat your audience, no matter how great or small in number, as your utmost concern. They are the reason you are speaking, so feel for them as if your message and efforts will be in vain if you cannot convince them to your point of view.

You have to create a link between you and your audience to successfully deliver your speech. This connection can be made through personal anecdotes, humor or even asking an audience to speak a little.

The goal is to be able to create feelings between you and your audience where they will know that it matters to you that they listen. This will be the basis for a smooth flow for the duration of the speech and probably the key to persuasion.

In a persuasive speech, you as the speaker should know how to persuade and convince. The audience should be driven to a point of influence that your message will successfully be delivered and received. Repetition of ideas, facts and opinions will bring them to your point and positively enhance your skill on becoming a more persuasive speaker.

Michael Lee
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-improvement-articles/persuasive-speaking-techniques-123095.html

Persuasive Speaking Techniques is a post from: NonVerbal-Communication

Women, even very beautiful women, like to be approached by a confident and interesting man.

This is a little secret that those of the female persuasion keep from us guys. Are you surprised? It is true that confident and interesting are much more important than looks to ladies of all ages, too.

That holds true for Internet Dating, as well as, dating in your brick and mortar world.

If you have joined an Online Dating service, you will find that there a lot more men than women and that the men are much more likely to browse profiles and make initial contacts than women.

Yes, it is a womans world, still. It is traditional for men to make the first move. It always has been and it always will be. Some things never change. That is why your profile and picture are so important.

Remember, confident and interesting, does not translate to cocky and self-centered.

It is important that your profile lets people know that you have friends you care about and that you are passionately interested in a variety of things, not JUST sports.

Another thing about that all important profile, please do not start it with, I am the guy your mama warned you about.

You will have just shot yourself in the foot with that line. Another one to never use is, I could be the man of your dreams.

The lady HOPES you are but she will be the judge of that, so do not insult her intelligence. Remember to exude confidence and be interesting and you will find that lady you have been looking for or she will find you.

Do you not think it would be nice to have the ladies contacting you instead of you having to do everything? If you write a great profile that stands out in the crowd, that will happen.

Dating success is actually spelled A-B-C.

Getting back to basics can work wonders in dating relationships. So head back to school and go over the ABC of dating.

A is for agreeable and appearance. You need not agree with everything your date says. But act in an agreeable manner.

Bummer, but gruff, loud comments and sounds (like farts and burping) can scare some women off fast.

So can unkind, rude, obnoxious, drunk, sexist, racial and mean comments. So act like a gentleman and keep the focus light and easy. And when dating in person and not online, have a neat appearance.

No need for formal attire, but wear clean clothes without rips in them.

B is for body language. Keep the eyes where they need to be, gents. No lewd stares or even quick glances at cleavage, regardless of whether or not the looks are directed at your date or other people. And keep communications open with your arms relaxed, i.e. not crossed and closed.

C is for communications and YES, you need to do this. Unfortunately women do not drop out of trees into your arms or most do not. So you need to get out there, online or off, find them, email, chat, phone or somehow communicate with them.

So back to the basics, gents. And then forward into battle of the sexes!

Holly Stevens
http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/dating-tips-for-men-secret-pickup-approaches-59404.html

Dating Tips For Men Secret Pickup Approaches is a post from: NonVerbal-Communication

Body language accounts for a tremendous amount when it comes to attracting both men and women. In fact studies have shown that 50% of our communication with others comes from the messages our behavior conveys. The second way we communicate is the manner in which we talk and finally what it is we actually say with our words comes last. When it comes to flirting with the opposite sex, there are ways to do it right in order to attract more people. Let’s take a closer look.

Learn to mirror the subtle actions that a person you are speaking with is doing. When two people like each other often this happens automatically and neither person is aware of it right away. For example, you end up mimicking another individual’s actions because you are so absorbed in the conversation. The other person may take a sip of their drink and you do the same without a thought. Or the person may nod their head or perhaps lean forward and then you copy the gesture. Mirroring is not just a manner of flirting, as it often becomes a common element for couples that have been together for a long time.

Blinking your eyes more often shows interest and if it is the other individual in your company who is doing it, more then likely that person is doing their best to attract you and draw you in. If you notice yourself blinking more and the man or woman you are engaged in conversation with begins to do the same then you are doing something right.

We tend to look more intensely at someone we are attracted to and our eyes move around more when we look at their face as well as their body. Where flirting is concerned, get those eyes working for you! Looking closely at a person’s mouth when they are talking to you is a very flirty gesture not to mention a turn on for most people. Never however resort to staring at any part of a person’s face or body or you are likely to make them uncomfortable or nervous.

The eyebrow flash is flirty in that it lets another person know that you are interested in them. When people meet each other it is common to raise the eyebrows ever so slightly before bringing them to their original position. This is often done as a part of saying hello to a person but for those who really like each other, the eyebrow flash tends to last for a second or two longer. Often if you do it to someone if they feel the same way they will do it right back to you.

Flirting is all about being attentive to what the other person is saying and people who like each other like to look at the other person face to face and stand close. But never stand too close and crowd the other individual’s personal space. This is likely to cause discomfort and anxiety. Often subconsciously when we are attempting to show interest in another person we point at them with our hands, legs, or feet. Sometimes props come in handy such as talking to someone on the other side of a counter or a table.

Flirting is supposed to be fun but be aware of when your efforts are not working. If the other person is leaning back and away from you, or has folded his or her arms or has developed tight lips or a frown then it is time to throw in the towel and look elsewhere.

Dustin Cannon
http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/how-to-flirt-with-the-opposite-sex-85462.html

How To Flirt With The Opposite Sex is a post from: NonVerbal-Communication

When two people are in a relationship, they need to share a certain level of compatibility that extends beyond the bedroom. Besides getting along as lovers, they need to be friends, in order to share each other’s joy and sorrow and be on the same wavelength, mentally and emotionally. Friends, who are close to each other, tend to have that kind of emotional and mental connection, which is why the friendship is shared in the first place. Imagine if you could find that kind of compatibility in a lover as well! Read on for tips how to turn a friend into a lover:

Remind them of what they like

If you have a male friend, who have hinted in the past about what he likes in you – certain physical or emotional characterstics that you possess – learn to highlight those features. Just don’t go overboard.

Remember, that when you were friends, how you looked or felt didn’t matter because he would love you nonetheless. But, when it comes to love, you need to present yourself in a way that will make him notice.

Change the talk

When people are friends they tend to talk about everything under the sun, from common interests or each other’s love interests! If you want this person to relate to you on a more intimate level as well. You could try flirting verbally.

Create the ambience

Instead of going with him to a ususal hangout like a movie or a coffee shop, you could change the venue to a more private and romantic setting.

Change your attitude

If this person is already your friend, he will know how you behave around someone you have more than platonic feelings for. The next time you meet him, start behaving with them the way you would around someone you like.

Body language

This is one of the most powerful tools to hint to people how you feel. The body language that two friends share is very different. All you have to do is change the way you touch your friend and if he has half a brain, he’ll get the hint.

All The Best!

Michael Douglas
http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/how-to-turn-a-friend-into-a-lover-81079.html

How to Turn a Friend Into a Lover? is a post from: NonVerbal-Communication

[[posterous-content:pid___0]]It has only just occurred to me that in almost every single conflict the military seeks the blessing of the clergy. It is almost as if they are so unsure of their position that they need to check in with the boss to make sure that it’s ok to blow the enemy to bits.

I’m hoping tha the young Buddhist monks in the picture above said no.

But that’s not why i’m writing to you today because I just published a very short post on my blog “Transforming Communication” that discusses how much truth is there really in that old myth that we’re genetically predisposed towards being warlike.

I have my opinions and I’m really curious to know what your views are…Do you have any views about war or are your views manipulated by the media ?

Only one way you’ll ever find out

Go here——> http://www.transformingcommunication.com/blog/2012/03/20/why-war-may-not-be-inevitable/

War is not inevitable. Reasons for communication skills training is a post from: NonVerbal-Communication

It has only just occurred to me that in almost every single conflict the military seeks the blessing of the clergy. It is almost as if they are so unsure of their position that they need to check in with the boss to make sure that it’s ok to blow the enemy to bits.

I’m hoping tha the young Buddhist monks in the picture above said no.

But that’s not why i’m writing to you today because I just published a very short post on my blog “Transforming Communication” that discusses how much truth is there really in that old myth that we’re genetically predisposed towards being warlike.

I have my opinions and I’m really curious to know what your views are…Do you have any views about war or are your views manipulated by the media ?

Only one way you’ll ever find out

Go here——> http://www.transformingcommunication.com/blog/2012/03/20/why-war-may-not-be-inevitable/

War is not inevitable. Reasons for communication skills training is a post from: NonVerbal-Communication

What do you want when you communicate with somebody ?

The reality is that being perceived as an expert communicator should  NOT be your number 1 priority.

Realise that what you are looking for is  to have control of the response. Your response…

Your first priority when communicating is to be sure that what you are  saying has been understood. Until that happens everything else is completely irrelevant, simply  because you are not communicating.

The message is not getting through.

You also have a responsibility to understand what is being said to you. Without both of these  components you are still not communicating.

You are talking AT each other.

You are probably thinking well yes this is all very well but doesn’t the other person also have the same responsibilities to understand me. I mean hey, my view is important here too.

The answer is yes…and no

There are two parties to any communication and because you are here and reading this I assume that you want to improve the type of communication you’re having with other people. I assume that you want to improve the quality of your communication which may mean that you get better responses to your questions or deeper levels of truth or emotions.

Either way, whatever you want out of your communication It is your responsibility to ensure that you get the responses that you need.

If you want more truthfulness…

If you want to be respected more …

If you want to have more influence or more friends..

or

Any other type of response you can think of.

Remember…Only you are in charge of your brain.

And if you don’t think that you’re in charge of it, then who is and who decided you would let them control your thinking ? Think about that…Because if you can consider who is actually in charge of your thinking it means that you really are the one who is in charge of your thoughts.

Right !

That means that you  not only have the power to take control of what you think. You also get to decide what you say  and how you say it.

Your brain receives a massive amount of information from your ears and eyes and then it decides what that information means. Your mind decides what the messages that you get from the outside world mean and then it tells you about that message. It tells you by encoding that information as a belief. Another aspect that makes up your beliefs are your values.

Values are  powerful beliefs that you use to measure yourself against in terms of your results and also your actions. Another word for your values is your conscience. What you believe to be right and good.

So let’s imagine that you have had a message from your boss or your partner. The message says that they are not very happy about something you have done.

That message could be interpreted that you are a victim of circumstance and powerless to change your life for the better… That your boss dominates your life and change is beyond your control…Your partner is the one that makes the decisions for you and so they must be right.

The same information could also be interpreted that while your life is not exactly what you want, at the moment,  you have got lots of really big incentives to change it and “By golly you’re not going to let anything or anyone stop you from getting it…”

The thing you can understand here is that YOU are the one who decides what the information you receive means. And you are the one who decides what you will do with that meaning.

Here’s a little test for your beliefs and what they mean to you… 

I am assuming that you have a goal that you will get as a result of having better communication skills. Yes ?

Do your current beliefs and the meaning you have attached to them, get you closer to your goals or do they move you further away from them ? And if they are not supporting you in getting your goals is there something else you could believe that would be more useful ?

You have the power to make a choice. You can stick with what has not worked so far…You can keep on doing those things that frustrate you and upset you…

Or you can decide right now that as you realise you are reading this and as you become aware that you are understanding these words… you can change what you believe about anything  you want to.

Your whole life is just made up of thoughts. thoughts that come into and flow through your mind. And you get to decide whether you believe them or not and what you want to do about that.

And even when the thoughts  say you have no control…You can still ask them this question…

Says who, specifically ?

and just be aware of the answers that come to you.

Controlling your response when communicating is a post from: NonVerbal-Communication